Reconnecting to Your Power
If healing is essentially a process of reconnecting to your own power, what is power? I define power in this context as:
the influence and capacity we have to design the quality of our experience.
Having a clear definition in and of itself can be helpful b/c it re-frames what we typically see as power—influence over land, resources and people. That’s not what I am referring to here. I am referring to the power we have over ourselves. We have power over what we value, what we believe, how we act/react, the inner resources we tap into, and the stories we create about our experiences.
It is important to note that I am not addressing power in the context of systems, society or communities here either. I am strictly speaking at the level of the individual. It should go without saying that to create a just and equitable society, a thorough transformation of systems, policies and power, is needed at all levels. The tricky part is that all systems of liberation and oppression are ultimately created by people—by individuals with beliefs and dispositions aligned to that same liberation and oppression. So, this is where I always begin—at the individual level. A liberated individual will compel and work with others to create systems, policies, organizations and governments conducive to the liberation of all.
Some may think this is not good enough, fast enough or impactful enough but I have been able to bear witness to how the transformation of just one belief can change a person into a radically different leader, parent, community member and friend.
More on the power of the individual.
Sometimes life causes us to disconnect from our power, sometimes we do it to ourselves via limiting beliefs, low self-esteem etc. and other times, it’s probably a combination of both.
In my coaching work, I’ll typically ask clients to describe where their power currently resides in relation to their physical body. When people feel disconnected, we usually describe it as being far away from us. Perhaps our options in life are extremely limited, perhaps our power to make our own decisions is in the hands of someone else. When the systems are against us it’s difficult to turn inward and ask where our own power is in the situation and yet, that may be our only option. Let’s make it into our first option. While the odds may be against some of us, we don’t want to give up our seat of power.
Where is your power right now? Right this second. Does it feel prominently within you? Does it feel like it lives with someone or something else? If it is not within you, how did it leave you? What happened?
Typically, when we lose something we re-trace our steps to the last time we had it. That’s essentially what this thought exercise is doing: re-tracing your steps back to your power.
A friend of mine recently got a work call over the weekend. She was accused of mishandling the implementation of an HR policy. She knew the person had missing information but couldn’t get a word in edge-wise to explain the full story. After that call, her weekend was ruined. She spent most of it overthinking and coming up with every ‘what-if’ scenario (even though she had not done anything wrong!). Her power was completely turned over to the person on the other end of that phone call. With some coaching, she learned that the moment the person used the phrase “bully,” she went into shock and lost control of the conversation. It was at that precise moment that her power left her body.
She retraced her steps back to her power, had a follow-up conversation with that person and protected what was left of the weekend for her own self-care and nourishment.
Healing is a big commitment. Sometimes we avoid it. Here are the top reasons why we might run the other way.
To learn more about Jessie and her services, check out the Healing is Justice® website.