How to Detach Pt. 5 Skill #4

After taking some time to really dig into your core values—both the light and shadow versions—and how they are at play (or not at play), we have to declare a final truth. 

Quick recap of the full process:

1-    Figure out where your ego is relation to what you want to release.

2-    Determine your current perspective on the matter.

3-    Name your core values at play and perhaps those that could be at play, but aren’t.

4-    Use those values to declare your truth. What do you stand for?

5-    (optional but highly recommended) Create a detachment ritual where you formally establish that the release has occurred. 

Disclaimer: To be clear, this ‘final truth’ is your truth and not a universal truth or a matter of fact. Use it as a guiding light but please don’t not impose it as anyone else’s. 

What does this step look like/sound like? 

Once you have all the cards on the table, you have a decision to make. Perhaps some of what you have uncovered came from conditioning or programming from when you were a kid. Now as a grown-up, you get to decide if you want to put it down or keep it with you and why. 

This step is about making meaning and distilling what matters most. These examples are going to be out of context since we would need the full story from steps 1-3 and yet, they still illustrate the clarity and conviction that I am encouraging.

1.     I prioritize my own wellness. Without it, I can’t be or contribute to anyone or anything else. 

2.    The decisions of my company center people and the planet, not my pockets.

3.    My integrity/values/peace supersede the impulse to feed my ego.

4.    I am replaceable at work, but not with my family. 

5.    My worthiness is not attached to my productivity. I am worthy because I am. 

Once you have a clear truth, it’s time to start planning. Things can look great on paper or in our mind, but this part is about turning it into concrete action.    

How will holding this truth inform how you spend your time, how you plan, how you make decisions etc.? What will be on your calendar as a result? What will no longer be on there? Who will be allowed in your life? Who won’t be?

This is where rubber meets the road. Take action and offer yourself grace. Old habits die hard so be patient as you fully integrate your truth and the aligned actions. 

Follow the series b/c in the next blog we will dig into the last and final step, #5. 

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