How to Detach Pt. 4 Skill #3

If you haven’t already, check out the first few posts in this series to get caught up. We are jumping right into step 3 of the process.

Quick recap of the full process:

1-    Figure out where your ego is relation to what you want to release.

2-    Determine your current perspective on the matter.

3-    Name your core values at play and perhaps those that could be at play, but aren’t.

4-    Use those values to declare your truth. What do you stand for?

5-    (optional but highly recommended) Create a detachment ritual where you formally establish that the release has occurred. 

By this point, you are clear on your story and both the benefits and costs of this attachment. 

Next up, core values.

Ask yourself: In this attachment what, if any, core values are you honoring and fulfilling? Which are being denied? 

Let’s consider this example: 

Context: This person is trying to release a toxic relationship with a friend. 

Values: Responsibility, Love, and Impact. 

Going through this third step might sound like:

“My values of responsibility and impact are prominently at play. I know this person needs my help and needs me around. I feel very responsible for their well-being, and I know I’m having a positive impact. I also value love and do love this person….The problem is that I am trying to express more self-love, and loving them seems to come at the sacrifice of my love for myself. I am allowing my boundaries to be compromised. This is a lack of self-respect which is directly tied to my value of love. I also realize that as long as I make myself solely responsible for their life, I block them from taking responsibility for themselves. I don’t want to block anyone from themselves. ” 

How are your core values at play in your practice of detachment? Follow the series b/c in the next blog we will dig into step #4. 

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