How to Detach Pt. 3: Skill #2

By now you have likely read through this series on how to detach. If not, it’s probably best to catch up because we are jumping right into the second step of the process.

 Quick recap of the full process:

1-    Figure out where your ego is relation to what you want to release.

2-    Determine your current perspective on the matter.

3-    Name your core values at play and perhaps those that could be at play, but aren’t.

4-    Use those values to declare your truth. What do you stand for?

5-    (optional but highly recommended) Create a detachment ritual where you formally establish that the release has occurred. 

The skill exercised in this step requires you to be very honest with yourself and leave no stone unturned. Paint an accurate picture of your understanding of what is going on.

If you have been attached to a person: How has this attachment been helpful to you? What has it offered you? What do you get out of that relationship? How does it feel like to be there? 

Now for the trade-off. What is the price of admission for being there? What is it costing you? What are you losing from this relationship or afraid of losing if you no longer have it?

If you have been attached to a place, thing or idea (i.e. I can only live in this city, I need my coffee in order to function, I need to be perfect): What does this offer you? What need does it fulfill? Consider the cost here as well. In exchange for having this, what do you lose?

Understanding how you benefit and what is at stake if you detach, helps you understand the forces that you are up against. Sometimes, our attachments are intertwined with our identity which makes those forces even stronger. 

Follow the series b/c in the next blog we will dig into skill #3. 

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