How to Heal: Re-building My Health & Wellness Pt. 1
Anyone who has seen me in person in the past several months knows that health & wellness has been a top priority for me. Stress, inflammation, hidden sugars, and unchecked capitalism allowing poison in our food supply have all been topics of conversation.
I had a ton of questions about why my health was deteriorating when I was eating so clean.
I decided to capture some high-level notes and reflections, mostly for myself –I wanted something documented with a hint of accountability, so I’ll keep adding to this Re-Building MY Health & Wellness series as I progress through this journey. Please note that I am not a medical doctor, and even though by the time you read this first post, I will have officially graduated as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach (yay!), this is in no way medical advice for anyone.
Jessie, what the hell happened to you?
I think the stress of the pandemic got to me and compounded the decades of stress that had already been stored in my body. I kept it together during 2020, but by the time 2021 came around, it was a wrap.
Sleep. Couldn’t fall asleep, so would sleep late and wake up late; my schedule was off; I couldn’t sleep straight through the night.
Fatigue. Lots of it.
Brain fog. Forgetting people’s names became a common occurrence, as well as not being able to find the words while speaking—it was like the names and words just fell out of my head and no longer existed.
Heart. My resting heart rate was in the triple digits, like 107-111 bpm, when typically it was between 67-76. I was tracking this with my Apple watch, and it was the same exact watch all throughout. I even calibrated it when they did the stress testing at the cardiologist’s office. They said, “You are too young to have heart problems; it’s just anxiety.” Speaking of….
Anxiety. Experienced a huge stressor (in addition to the pandemic) in 2022 that had me waking up with a fire burning in my chest after horrible sleep; I had a handful of panic attacks.
Vitamins and Minerals. I was super low in iron/ferritin and had a vitamin D deficiency, which I had to beg my doctor to add to the blood panel b/c I knew I was low. I just wanted to know how bad it was. She said, “You’re not in menopause yet, so your vitamin D is fine.” After arguing with her for a few mins, she finally caved and added it. Spoiler alert: I was right, and my Vitamin D was like a 10 when I would’ve needed it to be at least around 60-80. What a dummy. I was pissed.
Digestion. Got SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth). Basically, I had bacteria growing in my small intestine that should not be there. It was creating bloating and discomfort after eating anything.
Supplements. I started a natural SIBO protocol prescribed by a functional medicine doctor since I could no longer trust my primary care physician. That mostly worked, but not entirely. I killed most of the serotonin receptors in my gut (which directly impacted my mood) and was still left with enough bacteria in the wrong place that, I guess, would eventually grow back. I started iron supplements, didn’t work. And yes, I also had plenty of real vitamin C (not from ascorbic acid) to increase iron absorption, but it didn’t matter. My body wouldn’t absorb it. I tried iron patches, still didn’t work. I was taking adaptogens b/c that’s supposed to calm your nervous system, also didn’t work. The magnesium glycinate the doctor suggested seemed to be helpful as it related to rest and sleep specifically.
Blood work. Fasting glucose was increasing over time. I went from the 80’s to about 105. Fasting insulin was also increasing. (I know all my numbers b/c I was getting consistent labs done with the help of that functional medicine doctor, and I wore a continuous glucose monitor for about 3 months); indicators of thyroid problems were beginning to tick in the wrong direction, and I was growing concerned about my Hemoglobin A1C and C-Reactive Protein. Basically, I was becoming insulin resistant and at increasing risk of heart attack and disease. WTF?!
Mood. No grounding, no stability, sad one moment, fine the next. Dancing with depression on and off.
Weight. Gained a whole lot in a short amount of time. I know a lot of it was water retention because my face looked so puffy, and I knew that was a sign of inflammation.
Cycle. Super heavy and painful. Toward the middle/end of the summer of 2023, my cycle was late and unpredictable.
Food. I was eating mostly grass-fed/grass-finished beef, wild-caught fish, and very limited sugar, which was mostly in the form of desserts and treats every once in a while. I got lazy with the veggies, so I ramped it up in Jan 2023 and went back to eating a lot of dark, leafy green veggies. I typically bought organic and always checked ingredient lists to guard against inflammatory oils and nasty ingredients that shouldn’t be in our food. I got the cleanest food I could possibly get with my budget.
Exercise/movement or the lack thereof. Cardio, specifically Zumba, was always my workout of choice. I hated to exercise, but Zumba was a way I could trick myself into working out b/c it just felt like dancing to me. I tried to keep up with it, but my heart rate would shoot up close to 180, making me scared, and I would start to panic at the possibility of creating a panic attack. Yes, you read that correctly. I would panic at the possibility of panic. I was never interested in weights—seemed so boring to move in the same way over and over. I knew I couldn’t keep up with that, so I was left with doing light walks, weather permitting, of course.
Surely, to be this unhealthy, I must've been putting other toxins in my body, right?
Not to my knowledge, at least. No drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. Caffeine was clean, and while taking the adaptogens, I stopped drinking coffee altogether.
I felt like the body and mind I was using were not mine.
So, how come all of my usual healing modalities weren't working?
I was confused, scared, and disheartened, and because so many medical professionals could not help me, I honestly felt alone.
More healing rituals, guidance, and resources come through our monthly newsletter, The Leader’s Oracle. Sign-up here.